bEiJiNg... confirmed. =) or =( ?????????????????????
[22.09.2007]
emo session starts again. haha.
a decision made. rite or wrong? it's never for me to decide. it's alwaes family and friends who decided it. well, at least to me, it is so. from this aspect, that decision is wrong. becos i sacrificed,... well... ya. sacrifice maybe.. i sacrificed family and friends. but, from a selfish point of self, i made a rite decision. argh. but the feeling is jus not right.
changes changes changes. in life, most of the things are ever-changing. i don like it. or rather i hate it. i cant keep what i wan, i cant change evting to how i wan it to be. hai. but dere's one ting that has never changed..... my height... hahaz.. ***brrr...*** orites... sry.. hahaz..
not a rite feeling whenever i enter that place which i tot i'd be very happi at. well, u may say it was all in the past, but, the "remnants" are still in my mind. maybe i jus cant treat that as nth ba. maybe i weigh that too heavily in my heart. somethings jus cannot be washed off with time or jus a simple sorry. also maybe if i din get it, i cld hv been leading a better life. no nd to escape. oh. come to think of tis, i tink i've alr developed FEAR. ha. shit.
if onli i cld ACCIDENTALLI got on a boat/plane/car/bus/taxi/train/sub-marine... den bring me to somewhr where dere are no human beings. but of cos, pls give me food and water and clothings. maybe i cld hv been happier. hahaz. no worries, no entanglement, no comparisons, no homework, no stress, no competition. but well.. may lead to no emotions, no life. haiz...
so is lifeless life still a life? is emolife still a life? is uglylife still a life? is escapinglife still a life? argh.
Escapist. Not that I want to actually. Can't help it.