aRgh.. eMo aGn..
[22.06.2007]
walked home first(jus feel lyk gg home b4 gg school.. emo.. hahz..) . went for econs tut . PW mtg . went home . used com .
im tiRed. hmwk not completed yet.. aRGh... oritEss.... wadeVEr..
man man wAs acTing wEirD toDae.. it's been long sInce my mum gOt angRy (realli angry) at him.. well, he's jus a baBy anw... dono wAds gotTen into my mum.. maybe she's jus frusTrAtEd.. n of cos.. man man is getting naughtier eAch dAe..
nowAdAes, i emo very extreme eh.. don xiao dao ar.. hahaz..
yestd nite.. my bro wantEd borrow shoe bag from me, but it's not at home.. so couldnt help him aT all.. arGh.. his voice sounded so helpless yet i could not help.. aRgh.. e feeling is not good as his sisTer anw.. at tt pt in tym, i was tinking.. the helplessness my bro felt.. im sure he was realli helpless.. he's gg for a camp e nxt dAe n it was darn late in nite n he haven finish packing his bag.. how i hope i could deliver my shoebag to him immediately.. but i cant.. ttz all i, as his sister can do.. to sae "i cant help" to him at his pt of helplessness..
tis afternoon.. my dad was preparing for his trip to gENtIng tonitE.. he borrowEd a jackEt from me.. (e jacket was big enuf for him anw..) i lent him.. of cos.. den he took out another jackeT of his.. den he aSk me choose which one nicEr.. well, both was below average i can sAe.. but i still managed to pick out the nicER one.. at tt pt in tym, i was tinking.. i could nt afford to even buy a jacket for my dad when he has worked hard for me for the past 17yrs and more to go.......
in da evening.. my mum said tis to me, " eh.. lin ah.. ltr after man man go home, go out walk walk wiv me lehx..." in a depressed tone by the wae.. i realli dono y.. i tot it was jus a casual remark u noe.. but den she continued, "it's realli stressful to take care of man man.. i'm feeling very tired.. dono wan to continue taking care of him anot.. haiz.. go out take a walk beta.." at tt pt in tym, i was tinking, once agn.. i could nt even help to lighten my mum's burden... wad can i do den as HER child?
same evening.. my sis quarrelled wiv me over an issue of locking e door... i started tinking.. how many tyms have we actl quarrelled over the 17 yrs of my lifE? r theSe quarels necessary at all??!? no. my daes spent wif my sis passed mostly with quarrels. of cos dere were happi moments.. moments when we go crazy.. so im tinking.. if one dae i die, wad will she rmb of me den? my stubborn character? my very jian mouth? my childish comments made to her? my suanings? or me as her sister?
hmmz.. all these r small matters.. but it jus seems to impact me so much so much todae.. i dono e reason too.. maybe i'm jus feeling rather worthless and unworthy of staying in this family... since i cant do much for my family.. the ones whom i deared the most.
You(They) will always gonna be my love. You(They) will always be inside my heart. Now and forever...