TZELIN
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ENERGIZING19
THIRTYFIRSTAUGUST
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February 2006
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yaNli aSked me to cReaTe a tEst.. so i cReAted.. wahahahz.. cool qns.. beT onli me, mysELf n i noe.. hahahaz... jiayou lo! DO MY TEST!! =)) http://www.truefriendtest.com/friendtest/800995

wAs a tirIng dAe toDae(28.07.2007).. my rite eye sWelled lyk nobody's busineSs.. omg.. still gotTa go all e wAe to dhoby ghaUt for doC.. aRGh... so i wore my specS.. hahaz.. to bloCk e sWell.. imbal rite.. hahahaz... n sis decided to take bus... OMG.. total to n fro trip = almost 3hRS... i omos PUKEd.. AND.. till now, im still feeling giDDy and nauseous (however it's spelled)... aRGh...

nXt wk's common tESt.. not prepaRed.. preparing to be prepared.. hahahaz.. lame shit.. aiya.. studying... COME ON! jIAYOU!!

aRgh.. din realli wan to blog bout tis.. bout it's too imbal to be negleCted by my bloG! hahahaz..

wAs sick these few dAes.. reaLLi unwell.. n i hate looking at ppl.. cos my eYEs swEllEd.. n it's haRd to open...(it's alr small.......... argh..) went home sTr8 aFt leSson todAe.. din atTend leADers invESt reheArsAL ting.. =(( a huMAN sld not be so petty n revengeful. eEEkss...

wEnt home, aTe n sLept immediatELy.. den at nite, cant tahAN.. tot ovER for awhile.. den i heEded kaRen's aDvicE.. to consult a dOc.. den wEnt.. n e imbal ting comes.. hahahz.. e dOc haS NO bed in his "clinic"!! wahpiang ehx.. n e spaCe n sEAts were daRN limitEd. hahahz.. mosT of the tYm, my paRents n man man's paRents(since man man weNt to c e doc wiv me...) were sTanding.. hahahaz. including e doc... omg.. shocking.. hahahaz.. cool man!! n i wAs found out to be having............... hahahz.. jus common flu la.. but is e hot side.. which mean hot flu.. hahaz.. contradicts ehx.. hahaz..

my empathy journal of 19 chaptErs still not done.. n it has to be handed in on fri.. i beTa go sTArt.. but im tired..... aRGH...

had a dAe wiv 2 babies todAe.. one's strong and full of energy, another's weak and sick... aWww..

now in sCH.. trying to finish my eOM... or sld i sAe.. trying to START my eOm... aRGH. damn sianz...

cant even manage to find a RELEVANT and USEFUL source la.. hahaz.. im dead man! shyt...

very tirED aHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

ltr have dAncE... den go home gotta bia hmwk.. boring life.

here's MAN MAN!! =)) darn cutE~!

Motivation came from them again. =))

den gathered. i felt fire. i felt unjust. i felt stupid, not for myself. we don do tings for the sake of copying, for the sake of imitating, for the sake of doing. no objective in mind. a leader. or should i sae a leader? Ha. requested for dancers to take a rest.. we hv a performancE ltr.. irene, gwen n i went to e volunteer room.. sLept for total of 50mins.. woke up, bathed, prepaREd.. praCtisEd e stEps n i realisEd.. hahahz.. my brain juice was totally drAIned.. forGt sTEPs.. hahaz..

aFt tt, we wEnt baCK sCH unloaD logisTIcs.. connie,weiling,irene,latin,yl n i wenT jp to eAT!! hahaz.. damn shuang.. but was damn tirEd..

went home, bathed n i slePt.. without drying hair. was too tirEd..

quick quick quick.

aRGh. heArd sth real BAD todae.. hahaz.. actl oso not tt baD la.. but im affecTEd!!!! aRGH! i jus have tis zhan you yu ba.. hahahahz.. wadever.. but it's OKAY. hahahz.. CHEN YI LE...

have been staRing at e bLank new entRy paGe for VERY long.. i jus dono how to sTArt tis entRy..

but now, i need to use all might to pull back that trust. i need to force myself to believe. i need to talk to myself till my mind dries up to assure that reliabilty.

sincE then, i noe wads MOST impt in a project. till now, only disappointment. togetherness,happiness,enjoyment,supportive. so easily said, so difficult to achieve.

i jus cant stand it(myself)..

i feel lyk sleeping.. but i tink i nd to fa xie..

big yet insignificant. small yet impactful. minute yet important. passionate yet lethargic. enthusiastic yet condemnation. responsibilty yet burden. expectations yet disappointments. friends yet strangers. priority yet neglect. organization yet indivisualism.

these are all i wan sae.

aRGh. tired.

morniNg went yL's hse for oD tingS.. so tirEd.. did it for ONE WHOLE DAE.. do until heAd gonna burst liao.. serious... lyk not enuf brain juice lyk tt la...

ARGH. but when we compleTEd, we stArtEd joking.. wahahah.. "SORRY!" hahahahahahahz... well.. onli both of us noe.. hahahaz..

jus very brain-dead now.. hmm.. still gotTa do hmwk.. oh ya.. EOM.. shit. gtg.. bye.

[06.07.2007] it was a great celeBraTion for 23rd tis dAe.... it was abit too short... haiz.. okkies.. heRe goeS!

yeStD we had oD mtG.. thaNks aManDa for opeNing the LN for us..! we really need it.. haha.. okkies.. den e mtG movEd.. aiya.. acTL tis mtG is due to sum exteRnaL faCtors tt suddenLy maDe us super damn motivated than b4 to do well for tis proJect.. ttz y e mtG.. yea.. nvm.. e mtG wAs coOl.. but we kePt divErgIng.. hahaz.. orite la.. still managEd to settle sum stuFFs..

mtg dRAgGEd.. yL n i still gotTa mit mS lim.. yeAs.. in e eNd, our dinNEr wiv 23rd was deLaYed for 1hr +++++++... realli sRy guYs... realli realli sORrRYYy...!! **bows** hahaz.. sRy.. e tAlk wiv ms Lim was a moment of initiation for me.. suddENLy, i realised im not suppose to grow up.. i don wan to grow up.. adulthooD is so .... sCheMing.. so scArY... full of motIvEs... aRGH. YUCKS. SUCKY.

we rEAched jP finaLLy..16 turned up if im not wrong..=)) n we cant find sEats in pizZa hut.. wahahah.. too baD.. i realli din noe nd to book b4 haNd.. hahahaz.. n i din noe dEre's sUch ting as book b4 haNd for piZza hut.. ahhahaz.. noob ehx.. nvm.. den we all bought our own food, wenT paRk.. hahahaz.. sUmwHr neAr jp.. wow.. cooL maNz! hahaz..

we sAt at a playgROund.. haha.. lyk illegAL gathering.. sum playing cARds.. not poker.. hahaz.. some chit chatting, allan doing wORk.. ahhahaz.. okkies.. well.. much laughterSs! =))) fAhmi showEd us sum vidEos.. one of which was damn funny.. hahahahz..

10++, mosT went off.. onli allan,izzat,fahmi,sokteng,yeele,me left dEre.. we wEre chit chatTIng, complaining, shaRIng, catching up... allan was basicalli scolding ppl for more than 1 hr.. hahaz.. n he was walking aRd while he's on da phone la.. at e end, we concludEd tt he'd walkEd aRd... 10K?? hahahahz.. meANwHiLe, e 5 of us chaTTed, on alot of tinGs.. felt so greAt toking to 23rd.. u don hv to wRy so much bout saEing wrong tings, don hv to wRy so much bout dey'll leak out yr sEcRets or wad so not.. jus hv to pour out EVERYTHING.. n i did.. it felt so grEAt.. it's so magical.. 23rd has e ability to let me releAse my sTrEsSs, worries, frusTrAtion, aNgEr, eTc etc..

oh ya.. in our chaT, we learnt a new worD.. "power-hungry".. ttz a powErful yeT reAlisTic description for ppl.. haiz.. but realli felt beta aft saeing evting.. n suddenly realisEd how much i miss 23rd..

tt nitE was jus so relAXed.. wiv the wind sofTLy brushing our fAcEs, wiv e people so close to our hearts, wiv e topicSS of chat so impactful and so "heart-feeling"... e memory was indeed grEAt..

we jus sat dEre n sAid basicalli evting.. **sigh** how i wished 23rd had never stepped down.. 23rd is so special, so powerful, so understanding, so in-ba, so high level, so close to my heart.. ARGH.. i shall stop praising 23rd.. ppl will get jealous.. wahahahah.. jkjk.. =pPp

aFt which, a gRp of dRUnkaRdS? came.. hahaz.. den we hurried off. tho' we had st's hockEY stick wiv us, we still ran off.. haha.. sCArY.. took caB wiv allan n yL.. haha.. i maDe dEm stAy in e cAb n watch me walk to my lifT ehx.. hahaz.. well.. jus too sCAry.. it was 1++, gg to 2 den ehx.. hahaz..

went home, bathed n sLept.. tot bout 23rd till i fell asleep.. thanx gUys for labeLLing anotheR dAe of my life as: beautiful.

[07.07.2007]
woKe up for OD mtg.. all e wAe till 5++ eh e mtG.. haha.. n i got to noe a new "fREn".. named DOODY.. hahahahahahaz.. ttz wAs coNnie's small lil doodle boaRd.. hahahahz.. aFt mtg, discussEd more tings wiv a smalleR gRp of ppl.. dEn we heAdEd to jp.. haahz.. for ntH aCtl.. wAStE moneY n tym.. hai wo buy 1 orEo choc.. hahahaz.. okkies.. but anw, tmr still gg yL's hsE to draFt out a detailed proposal.. evting will go well aft it is done.. im SURE it WILL be.. u DON HV TO WORRY. kns..

anw, tis song is super nicE!!

it's a sPeciaL dAe toDAe.. 5th juLy..

2 yRs baCK, we wEre still nooBLeTs as official leADERs... as in jus took ovEr la.. now, it's been 2 yrs.. the jouRNey wiv 23Rd wAs tough, was tirIng, but it was memorable and enjoyable.. Often, i look bacK at the dAes as a counciLLoR of the 23Rd sTudENt couNciL.. dey wEre realli chaLLENgIng i sld sAe... but i reaLLi miss those dAes..

i have got NO TROUBLE AT ALL typing out all the things we've done tgt.. we've done so much TGT... all became memories.. but none of us can ever forget theSe memories.. they weRe too sWeEt, too wARm, too meloDiouS to be forGotTen..

oncE aGain, happy aNniVerSARy 23rD sTudENt counciL.. i love u all! <3333

well... im back home alr.. since 1415.... aRGh.. ttz so eARLY!! hahaz.. for the sake of our WR... hEez..

beFOre i continue wiv dA WR, i lookeD aRd some blogs n i aCTl found tis sitE.. a tEst to analyse and evaluation yr chaRaCtEr.. here goes mine!

You are so adamant (impossible to persuade, or unwilling to change an opinion or decision) at this time, you are not willing to concede to anything. You are dictatorial with your own ideas and the way you are feeling and there is little that anyone can do to make you change your mind, or to be able to persuade you to make concessions or to accept any compromise.

Being a likeable [wahaha] person you get on well with neighbours and friends. You don't need anything to 'Rock your boat'. You want to 'love' and to be loved'.

At times one is burdened with more than one's fair share of problems and this would appear to be your situation at present. (true true!!) But you are adamant - you know what you wish to achieve - and by giving a little and taking a little you may well find that the realization of your dreams could become a reality.

As of late, you have been experiencing untold stress and this is a result of continuous frustration (so don't disturb me!! hahahaz..). You haven't been taking care of all your physical needs and it's beginning to show. It would seem that you have a need to find someone to whom you can really relate - someone perhaps whose standards are as high as your own. (so if i approaCh u, ttz means ur standARd is as HIGH as mine.. wahahahahahz... not very high actl.. hahaz..)You want to be different - to be individualistic - to stand out from the common herd. Your inherent control of your sensual instincts is restricting your ability to give yourself to open up freely but this being on your own, being lonely, often makes you feel the need to give up some of your strict standards to surrender to the general flow - to be like everyone else; a part of the herd. Deep down you regard such instincts as weaknesses to be overcome. You would like to be loved or admired for yourself alone. You demand recognition and tender loving care. (oh no...)

There is that inherent fear that you may be prevented from attaining the better things in life - those things that you consider essential to your well-being. So you are prepared to try everything to prove to yourself that whatever you do or try will go wrong. (not realli.. hahaz..) This destructive attitude could come under the heading of 'a self fulfilling prophesy'.(no god...) This belittling yourself is your method of disguising how hopeless and what a waste of time you feel that everything is. So now turn it about. As you 'think', so you are... So 'imagine' yourself successful. 'Pretend', 'act it out' and you may be pleasantly surprised at the outcome.

woO~! so cool.. hahaz.. try it out!!

aWww.. baCk frOm m'sIa.. which meANs end of reSt even though tmr is yOutH dAe holidAes.. hahaz..

oritEs... nth much happeneD in m'sIa.. onli sAt, when we jus rEAChed, we wEnt for bReaKfASt.. dian xin! hahaz.. den wENT toilEt.. n i it was my firST tym gg into a SAME TOILET wiv my dad, jus tt diffERent cubiCLe.. hahahahaz.. damn weirD.. but well, the toileT is for BOTH gENdEr.. hahahaz.. weirD experiEnCE.. hahahz..

nicE diNnEr too.. but we waitEd for lyk ..... 40minS?? ya.. n dERe waS onli us and anoTHer tABLe of customERs.. hahaz.. inefficient ehx.. hahaz..

tis 2 dAe realli slACK.. nth to do.. well, my mum wAns me go bACk cos she sAe she fEels tt im very tirEd.. hahaz.. ok lo.. den wENt baCk, slePT ALOT.. cos realli nth to do.. but im still tireD.. den i reaLisEd.. im jus loSIng e motivATion, e enERGY to do tinGs.. yea.. maYbE it's tYm for me to sTaRt my eNgIne.. i reAlisEd i've bEen expeCting too much in liFe yEt doing ntH eH! ttz not e wAE!! come on!!