jiAn nV rEN!!
[29.05.2006]
MT eXam's oVEr!! yEa!! hope can do wEll n let go one burdEN aR... heEx..
wAa.. toDae sUddEnli lyk noe aLot of tIngs.. aIya.. for tIs tIng, i tInk leT's jus sAe saE n forGt it.. aFtall, it's his/her life.. we hv NO RIGHTS to interfere.. we'd jus be sEen as cHiLdIsh ma.. so no nd to cAre.. haiz.. rEalli dono wan to b aNgRy or sAd lo.. ming ming is wAN cAre, wan sEttLE n go back to paSt, buT bei ppl sAe until lyk tt.. from tis, i've leaRnt sth.. keEpiNg qUIet is e bESt.. sAe liao nt gD, don sAe oso nt gD, beTa nt to sAe ar.. aT leASt wun reGreT... hahaz..i'Ve neVEr beLieVed tt in tIs woRLD, sUch disgusTIng, sCheminG, cHeap, xin ji zhong de ppl sTill exist man.. but until i meEt u, u maDe me reAlisEd tt my beLief is wROng..!! tHANK YOU FOR ALLOWING ME TO REALISE THIS SO EARLY!! XIE XIE NI WOR! i realli don understand y ppl must do small actions at ppl's back [chinese: gao xiao dong zuo].. caNt u jus sAe out fAce to faCE?! kanasAI... **cool down cool down** hmpf.. all ritE.. i fEel much beta liaoz.. hahaz.. nvm la.. i tink wAds ovEr is ovEr.. u r wHo u r.. we cAnt change u.. onli u can cHange yrSElf... if u still don WAKE UP, u shall be v ke lian for e rEst of yr liFe..
n oso, if any sUggEStIons, can tEll us.. no nd to usE dEMandIng tonE.. it's disGusTing, but THANKS FOR YR CONCERN AND ATTENTION, (which we cld nt c during mtg).. if u r such disgusting, scheMIng n cHEAP peRSOn, yUP, i'm tOKing bout U!! if u r nt, u dOn hv to b aFfecTed by tIs eNtrY.. if u r aFfeCTed, it sHows wAd kinDa perSOn u r............
If one friend leaves you, it may be that friend's problem. If a second friend leaves you, you can still take it that it's the friend's problem. But when more and more starts to leave you, I think it's time for you to reflect on yourself and not keep criticising people, pushing all the faults to others and make yourself seem so innocent. Let me tell you, it's disgusting.
wEll.. iT's ovER..
[24.05.2006]
hmmz.. quite long din blog liaoz.. chang hua duan shuo.. MT O Level cOminG!! hmmz.. we weRe having intEsive chineSe revision eVdAe.. morning 4 periods mt lessons.. evdAe gt at least 1 full pp2 to do.. wow~! but.. quitE ok ba.. my mood still is exam mood.. so still is able to focUs..well.. MT o is on the 29th May.. aFt tt, we've gt 1 whole wK of sTUdy cAMp, from 8am to 5pm.. cool ritEs? hahaZ.. but sure v tirEd one.. nvm.. leT's go sEc4s!! endurE! aFt tt studY camp, den is dialogue session n den SLC! woOhoO~! den laSt wk of hol hv another wk of study camp b4 sch reopens.. hmmz.. lyk no hol hohz.. haiz.. perhaps sEc4 is lyk tt one ba.. hahaz..wEll.. tingS happen.. esp tings tt r kept deep in the heart once said out, probs will happen.. so sCary.. dono wAd to sAe, dono how to consOle.. hahaz.. i tink we r opp.. i gues onli yQ understands wAd i meAn.. hahz.. wEll.., laSt nitE, when u receivEd a msg tt cld makE u smiLe, i receiVed a msG tt cld make me weEp.. ** weeping at a corner alone is not a gd feeling at all.. but i jus cldn't find any1's shoulder.. n oso, dEre r many restrictions if i evEr cry.. haiz.. tis is life... i accept it.. i destroyed it myself.. i've got no one to blame.. ttz y i accpeted it.. yA? i guess so.. i've owAz believe tt a gOod cRY when sum baD tIngs is good for hEalTh.. ttz y i kept asking you to cRy.. haaz.. i've owAz believed tt.. now tt i don hv you to worry for, i can finalli conc on my studies.. but i tink i can realli conc FULLY aft sum tYm.. but i rEalli hOpe if one dAe, sld u hv a neW one, pls do not tell me and DON'T EVER LET ME FIND OUT.. i'll go crAzY instantly.. hahaz.. it's funny but rather true.. well, when tingS cld not continue, we can onli keep the memories we once had togEther.. and also, it's tYm to let my pink pig return home from sC rM.. i wondEr if it's still sth to u but it dEf is a memorY for me..
i tink i yu wu lun ci above ehz.. orItes.. eNd heRe..
We've been holding on to this dream for 2 years. After so long, it has finally been shattered, by me. The pig has always been with me, even when I'm doing the thing which kept us apart. Perhaps you don't understand then. But now, you don't have to.
y izIt tt aS tYm paSs, e morE im botHeRed?
[21.05.2006]
hmmz.. quite alot tings to sae cos gt many eVents i din blog on tt particular dAe.. orItes.. leT's rEcAP! i tink is tHurs, 18/05/2006, 23rd had our baTch outIng.. we wEnt eAst cOasT paRk.. to cYcle, play n chit chat.. tho' i disLyk cyclinG, but.. orIte la.. if i don cyclE, i 1 perSon walk ma.. den cycle lo.. aft tt, weNt to had our lUnck at mAc, n dEn playeD vball.. hahaz.. yEAH! fun! oso took photos but i haven receive one yet.. nvm.. aft tt, went home.. took wrong bus.. den change bus, den change to train.. aiyA.. mesSy tRIp back homE.. hahaz.. on tRain, we chit chatted lo.. den me n yq went hm to hv dinner, e rESt go jP.. den fRom their eNTrIes, sAw some tings.. but sAe cannot tell me.. lian yq oso din tEll.. ok lo.. den nvm.. eRr.. i tink ttz all for tis outing ba.. a summary laa.. cos i nw v tirEd..
neXt.. toDae, yl,st,yl's sis n her fren + me went to 5566 autograph session.. but they sIgned on small sized pp eHs.. lyk v cheap skate lyk tt.. hhaz.. nvm la.. gt sign n saw dem can liaoz.. we went deRe at aRd 8++ den queued until 2++ 5566 den cum.. aiya. i hate tis la.. owAz late one.. wALiao.. e ting supposed to start at 1pm but came at 2++... nvm la.. dEy da pai ma.. hahaz.. aFt tt, gT their signatUrE!! all four gt look n tok to me.. heEx.. sHuang.. the queueing de xing ku is nt waStED! shuai dAi lE! gt their bottles too.. hahaz... aft tt, met ct.. den we go in imm sit at the food court awhile den went back to bid 5566 farewell.. ahaaz.. xie zhi gege is shuai until~!! wAhsEh.. hahaz.. but renfu oso nt bad..(aft he slimed down).. mengzhe no comment.. shao wei.. aiYO! he 183 club de jing ran gt sTOmaCh lo.. eEeEEe.. hahaz.. *=pPp* den went home le..
aCtl i nt v happi wiv sth la.. but i cant find my position in mentioning my unhappiness wiv the related ppl.. ever since tt incident, i cldn't find my place in the relationship between me n the related ppl.. i dono y.. jus infErioR? tirEd? don wan anymore trouble? or izit jus tt im numb to it oredy.. haiz.. i realli dono.. recently another incident happen.. i meAn even if i don hv the position to noe the matter, at least ** sld hv ritE? nw is not the matter of tt matters anymore.. i jus feel more n more OUT.. tho' i've tried haRd to b sumone who cld be accepted by the related ppl.. n the recent situation has jus seem to get beta den slowly becum we hv to follow the policy of isolationism.. i dono wad yr want u noe.. i feel so EXtRa.. ***** ******* is wad the related ppl owaz described for our relationship.. but.. i don feel it eh... maybe it onli applies to them ba.. sld be tis caSe.. im jus dere to make number nice onli.. i tot ***** ******* are supposed to b able to u noe.. but i don c it.. or izit yr did but onli when im nt aRd.. well.. nvm.. i don wan to zi bi anymore.. the related ppl wan to treat me how, im of no control.. im fine wiv anyting.. as long as yr happi, ok lo.. fine! **owAz ask ppl to b sensitive, owAz ask ppl to tink for others feelings b4 speaking / acting.. but r yr doing so? in my POV, no...**
In Student Council, I have status, power n control. In that relationship, I have nothing but injuries. Aren't this world fair? When you have something you deared for, you lose something important that you once treasured.
wAa~! so tirEd!
[16.05.2006]
hMmz.. finaLLi miD yEar ovEr le.. haiz.. so sIanz... over liao oso don reAlli hv the celebraTe de mood.. acTl hv la.. but onli aBit onli.. stR8 aFt laSt pp when we all prepared to go out n plaY, mdm oh call us bAck.. hahaz.. gEt chinese hol aSsignment (tho' the hol is onli .. 2 daeS?).. aIya.. wAd to do... 2 more wKs jiu MT O leVel le ehz.. haiz.. i rEalli don lyk sEc4 liFe.. so BORING~!!! eVdae go sCh is STUDY, SC, DANCE... nth else.. wALiaoz... SIAN LO!! den aft mid yr le still cant fang xin de play.. hv to worry o level.. alamaK! haiz.. endure ba... ttz e onli ting we can do.. endure until the end of O n we shall all go cRazY orIteS?!!! =)) yEaH!! *look forward to that day!*
hMm.. tOdaE aFt the cHinesE "mtg", the 6 geRs went cAusewAY pt sHop.. we took a ride on yQ's dad's lorRy.. cool eHxz.. bumpy ride.. i tink it has been 3 or 4 yrs since a had a ride on dA lorRy.. so coOl.. i wAs tirEd due to the "bump".. hahaz.. so din realli tok alot.. felt lyk slping.. esp with the wind.. den drizzle a lil bit.. wA.. it maDe the weather even more suitable for a sLp ehx.. hhaz.. aFt tt, we wEnt to eAt at Long John.. den jiu go aRcAde.. orIte la.. tho' i don realli lyk aRcaDe, but the atmosphere dere not as bad as wAd i imagined.. so hai hao.. aft tt, we went to tAke neoprInt.. aIYo.. the 1st maChinE sUX maN! quality sux.. hahaz.. so ugly.. the colour lyk fading fading lyk tt lo.. eEeEe.. but the 2nd machine nt baD.. hahz.. quite niCe.. the quality oso beTa.. so.. ok la.. at least din waste tYm dEre.. hahaz. nxt tYm we go bugis take kkieS gErS?! heEz.. take nice nice one..
aft tt, yc,yl n me jiu go back sCh for dANce.. ct went to play PS2.. yq n mq went home.. aft daNce jiu went home liaoz.. eAt le den sLp.. so tirEd.. tmr is fRee le!! no dANce liaoz!! hahaz.. but it sEems lyk we dono wHr to go eH... i don wan to sTAy at homE!! but if realli nowHr to go, den jiu guai guai de stay at home n do chinese lo.. ahaz.. no choice.. *pray hard for one of us to be able to cum up with a good placE to enjoY!*
hmmz.. 5566 is cuming le.. sld i go?!!! i want to! but lyk v wEIrd ehx... sEc4 still go join tis kinda ting.. aiyO.. help me decide ppl!!**tag pls!!**
"Don't care" is a strong phrase. It may not have any impact on you but it certainly has some on others. I really don't know what you are thinking. I don't understand you anymore. I don't know who you are anymore. I don't like the way you speak. I don't like the way you present yourself. Many say you are just trying to irritate me. And if that is the case, you have succeeded. I'm seriously irritated.
wEird weird onE..
[13.05.2006]
hmmx.. nowAdAes fEeling so so so so so wEirD... dono y ehx.. maYbe sTaRts to tink n tink n tink, worry n worry n worry as tYm pass and move on sTep forWaRd to da dAe when we sTeP doWn.. will it still be dA sAme?? aCtl, i dono.. or rather none of us noe... nowAdaEs chatTed alot wiv dA gErs on tis knotty prOb.. seEms lyk tis kinda ting is diff for us to fInd e aNs for our doubts in mind.. hMmz.. i don lyk lonelineSs.. but dUe to SOME rEasons, i've gotten useD to it.. or sld i sAe i hv to gEt usEd to it.. hmmz.. nvm.. i sTill hv fRens aRd me aT leASt.. n oso 23rd.. hEng aR.. if nt, dono how to survive thru tis period.. hahaz.. e
gErs are mostly facing e same prob, in e sAme situation now.. aCtl i tink is not now den suddenly all fAce sAme prob one.. is eVerY1 kept in hEart for TOO LONG le.. den now when one sTarts to share feelings on tis isSue, another one will be unable to "resist the temptation" n share.. den another one n another one... i gUess is lyk tt ba.. hahaz.. i dono.. but for mySelf, i bottled up for dAmn long liaoz.. ttz y now rEleAsEd.. but i fInd tt releasing is not my solution ehx.. aFt sharing, i tend to tink more n when i tink morE, e feeling is jus weird.. dono is sAd, lonely, painful or wAd.. hahahahaz.. jus wEIRD!! nvm.. i will gEt ovEr it.. i neEd tYm...
jus watChed the laSt episode of xian jian qi xia zhuan.. omG! xiao yao ge ge n ling er de sAd ending is rEalli very very sAddEning eHx... dEy so sWeEt.. n even on the vErgE of dEaTh, ling er bore wiv all the pain she's experiencing jus to hold on to heR lASt breath to fulfill her promise to xiao yao ge ge.. [she promised that she wun die..] but in the end, she died a painful death.. i guess xiao yao gege's pain is even more woRse ba.. hmmz.. sAD sAd sAd........
orItes.. toDae morning wEnt swimming wiv ct n yc.. we chatted bout tingS.. aFt tt, went yl's hse sing awhile den jiu go off le.. ct n yc both going out.. so i went home together when dey leAve.. lyk tt lo.. nth else..
Waiting is painful. But if the end result of the wait is sweet, the pain is worth it. Will we experience sweet or sour?
yEa!! updAte liaoZ!
[11.05.2006]
woO~!! finalli can take a lil' brEak! past fEw wKs lyk eVdAe competing wiv tYm.. hv to sQueEze e huGe amt of infO into our sMall lil' bRains.. finAlli can take a rEst now liaoz.. tMr holidAe, nxt mon n tUe light pps n den wEd marking dAe, fRi election tingY den we no nd go sCH!! wOoHoO~!! but..... i suddenli realised still gt impt n tiring tinGs to do.. sTill goTta hurry hurry setTle pp wOrk for SLC... aiYo.. tt meAns cant rEalli rEst aFt exams.. hv to bia SLC..!! aAarRrGgH! zhen shi yi bo wei ping, yi bo you qi yA! haha.. but, nvm.. for e succEss of SLC, im willing to biA! hahaz.. jiAyoU 23rD!!
hmmz.. todAe lyk suddenLi noe alot of tinGs eH.. aFt e maths pp2, chinese geRs hv orAl exam.. aFt tt, ct, yq, gw, fahmi, gw n me wEnt yL's hse to sing n use her laptop.. yl, fahmi, gw n i wEnt to play vball at ard 1330.. dono wAd happen, my stomach fElt very wEird n uncomfortable.. the uncomfort spreaded to my backbone.. e feeling was v v weird.. can sAe painful.. jus uneAsy.. den jiu stop e gAme.. den went bacK to yl's hsE to sing.. den wc,aaron n caocao were dEre liaoz.. we sAng n laFed n plaYed.. so rElaxEd!! heEx..
on e wAy to yl's hse n on e wAy home, we chatted bout some tings.. suddenly rEalisEd tt heArt n emotions are e mosT diff tings to undErstand n handle in tis woRld.. we nv noe wAd e other parTy is tInking.. ppl sUmtyMs jus aIn't dEmselVes in fRont of ppl.. or purposely do tinGs aGainst tHeir wiLL..[sumtyms i will do tings against my own will tho'.. hahaz..] but thEse r tings we cant change or do anyting to it.. aiya.. diff to sAe eHx.. but.. hmmz.. jus do well on our part ba.. be truthful to ourselves.. even if we cant do anyting to others' tinking, at least our life is w/o guilt.. oh no.. i tink i sAe until out of pt liao.. i dono wAd im toking le.. hahaz.. sEhx..
hmmz.. hao le ba.. end heRe ba.. jus hope tt exAms hurry ovEr!! den cAn sLack a lil' while.. den bia SLC, aFt tt bia for O liao!!! aRrRggGh!!! so many tings.. nv ending.. haha.. okieS... jiaYou!! ;)
My dream had come true. Although it is not as perfect as my dream, but, it is a beautiful memory ever since long time ago. Thanks for refreshing my memory.